“JUPITER ASCENDING” My rating: D+
127 minutes | MPAA rating: PG-13
Fate does no favors for filmmakers by giving them early artistic or commercial success.
Two words: Orson Welles.
Two more words: The Wachowskis.
Their latest, “Jupiter Ascending,” is borderline unwatchable.
Siblings Andy and Larry (now Lana) Wachowski hit the big time in a big way in 1999 with “The Matrix,” which was hailed as both terrifically popular entertainment and hugely savvy moviemaking.
It’s pretty much been downhill since then: Two “Matrix” sequels of rapidly deteriorating quality, the flawed “V for Vendetta,” the awful “Speed Racer,” the ambitious but muddled “Cloud Atlas.”
“Jupiter Ascending” throws together a bunch of ideas cobbled together from pop culture and science fiction sources, revs them up with an assault of noise and visuals, and makes some pretty good actors look like amateurs.
It begins way out in space where the three immortal Abrasax siblings — the imperiously evil Balem (Eddie Redmayne), the scheming-but-charming Titus (Douglas Booth) and the seemingly empathetic Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) — are arguing over the inheritance left by their late mother.
Among her holdings is a planet called Earth, whose residents are unaware that they soon will be harvested for the essential juice that allows the Abrasax to retain their youths indefinately.