Butler's Cinema Scene

“TED” My rating: C+ (Opening wide on June 29)

106 minutes | MPAA rating: R

“Ted” begins about 30 years ago in Massachusetts at Christmas, a special time of year, a stentorian narrator (Patrick Stewart) informs us, “when Boston children join together to beat up Jewish kids.”

That level of snarky sardonicism is a constant in this profane fairy tale about a lonely little boy whose beloved teddy bear comes to life. Sounds kind of touching, but don’t be fooled. As written and directed by bad taste king Seth McFarland (creator of TV’s “The Family Guy”), “Ted” is hilariously crude and good-naturedly offensive.

You’d expect nothing less.

Mark Wahlberg plays our hero, John Bennett, who as a little boy found his world turned inside out when his stuffed bear Teddy sprang to life as the result of his Yuletide wish. Initially the talking bear was a big celebrity (there’s old video footage of Ted trading quips with Johnny and Ed on the “Tonight Show”), but now the world has pretty much forgotten about this aberration of nature.

But not John, who still loves Teddy with all his heart. Of course it’s no longer the love of a little boy for a beloved toy. Now it’s the mutual love of a couple of ambitionless stoners who have spent two decades reinforcing each other’s adolescent impulses.

Mila Kunis

Somehow John has managed to pick up a steady girl, Lori (Mila Kunis), but lately she’s been making noises that perhaps it’s time to get out from under Ted’s slacker influence.

And that’s pretty much the plot of “Ted.”  It’s about John’s half-hearted efforts to make a break with Ted and get on with his life with Lori.

In that regard the film’s not particularly original. But it works thanks to Ted himself, who has been brilliantly animated and speaks with the ascerbic voice of McFarland.

Ted cusses. He drinks and smokes. He drives a car. He finds ways to pleasure women even though he has no genitalia (a fact that has sparked many angry letters to Hasbro).

McFarland’s voice work is exemplary, making of Ted a genuine character. Special kudos to Wahlberg, who spent much of the production interacting with a character who wasn’t there.

This is McFarland’s first feature film as writer/director, and he’s not quite there yet. His previous efforts have been in the world of half-hour television, and there’s a big difference between being funny for 20 minutes (after commercials) and keeping the hilarity going for nearly two uninterrupted hours.

But when it’s funny – and that’s frequently – “Ted” is a ribald riot.

Nothing for the ages. But fine for a hot-weather diversion.

| Robert W. Butler