Butler's Cinema Scene

Colin Ferrell

“TOTAL RECALL”  My rating: C

 118 minutes | MPAA rating: PG-13

Director Len Wiseman  (of the “Underworld” series) gets paid millions of dollars to make movies in which his hot wife (Kate Beckinsale) dresses up in tight black outfits and kicks, punches and shoots other guys.

This must be one great job.

Wiseman’s latest is “Total Recall,” a remake/reboot of the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi film. And, sure enough, there’s  Beckinsale, once again in black and furiously kicking, punching and shooting.

But beyond the thrill of a bad-tempered Mrs. Wiseman generating a high body count, there’s not a whole lot to recommend this “Recall,” which delivers tons of CG eye candy and some overactive plotting but not one iota of recognizable human emotion.

Jessica Biel

Our hero, Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), lives on a future Earth in which 95 percent of the planet has been rendered uninhabitable by chemical warfare.  The rich folk occupy the former England, now known as the UFB.  The masses of poor folk live in the former Australia, which is called The Colony.

These two civilizations on opposite sides of our globe are connected by a humongous elevator called The Fall which – I kid you not – runs through the Earth’s core like one of those old cartoons about a guy digging a hole in his backyard and coming out in China.

Workers like Douglas commute every day to the UFB on The Fall, returning to the Colony at night to endure the constant rain, overcrowding and slum-like conditions (somebody associated with “Total Recall” has been studying “Blade Runner”). On top of all this dreariness, the two countries are wracked by revolutionary terrorism with  the rebel leader Matthias (Bill Nighy) battlling the minions of Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the ruthless leader of the one percent.

Bored by his dead-end life (not even his loving wife Lori, played by Becksinale, gives him much pleasure), Douglas decides to visit Rekall, a company that for a price will implant memories of a rich and satisfying existence. Doug opts for a program in which he’s a high-tech spy.

Kate Beckinsale

But before the operation can take place, the Rekall office is raided by government troops. Douglas fights his way out, exhibiting battle skills he didn’t know he possessed, and the chase is on.

So…is the entire movie the fantasy implanted in Douglas’ brain? Or is he really the subject of a worldwide manhunt?

Actually, that question seems never to have occurred to Wisemen and the five writersrequired to adapt Philip K. Dick’s short story “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale” for the big screen.

Here’s what we learn (sort of): Douglas’ real name is Hauser and he used to be a super spy but was retired with a new set of memories (i.e., he became factory worker Doug). Wife Lori is another government operative assigned to keep tabs on him by portraying his wife.

Hauser used to have a revolutionary girlfriend named Melina (Jessica Biel). She shows up to rescue him at a dangerous moment and rekindle both their romance and their revolutionary activities on behalf of Matthias.

“Total Recall” has some nifty set pieces, the most interesting being a chase involving hovercraft zipping along elevated roadways.

The action sequences arrive with the regularity of a British train.  But dramatically “Total Recall” never even gets started.

A big problem is that Farrell doesn’t really have a character to play. Which is frustrating given that he’s actually playing two characters in one. Neither registers.

Biel is a beautiful bore.

Beckinsale, at least, gets to portray a high-tech harridan who now wants nothing more than to beat the stuffing out of the man she was forced to sleep with (it was her assignment, after all). Her malevolence gives “Total Recall” a bite lacking everywhere else.

| Robert W. Butler