Most children — the lucky ones, anyway — stand in awe of their fathers.
Until I was a teenager I took it for granted that my father, Robert W. Butler Sr., who passed away June 12 at age 98, had the superhuman ability to fix anything.
Washing machines, auto engines, electrical wiring, even the collapsing concrete-block foundation of our Prairie Village home…Dad just rolled up his sleeves and fixed it.
By trade he was an electrical engineer…by habit he fixed things.
He did it as a volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. He tutored grade schoolers in the Shawnee Mission District. He stocked shelves at the food bank run by Village Presbyterian Church, where he was an usher and deacon. For several years he dressed up to help my mother run a booth at the Renaissance Festival selling the output of the church’s printmaking guild.
He was a Stephens Minister who counseled and comforted members of the church.
After the death of my mother Dad moved into Aberdeen Village in Olathe KS (he was a member of the original “freshman class”) where over two decades he served as president of the resident’s council and each year did the income taxes of anyone who asked. He passed out his homemade banana bread and summer sausage.
That was typical. Dad, my mother used to joke, never got his tank filled without making friends with the station attendant.
And the other night as we sat at his death bed, my sister Jan observed that she had never heard a bad thing said about our father; nor had we ever heard him say anything unkind about another person.
In many ways we were opposites…he was a left-brain fixer and I was a right-brain dreamer. His futile attempts to coach me in seventh grade algebra must have shaken his belief in heredity. At the same time, I suspect he was mystified at the process by which I watched movies and wrote critical pieces about them.
(Although…in his mid-90s he took up painting with all the eagerness and lack of pretension of an eight-year-old.)
Dad was born on Aug. 9, 1921 in Franklin, NE. He attended the University of Nebraska (he was a lifelong fan of Cornhusker sports and was still paying dues to the Nebraska Alumni Association when he passed). He received a degree in electrical engineering; the U.S. Navy paid for his further studies at Harvard, M.I.T. and Bowdoin College.
He served as radar officer on the U.S.S. Dayton in the Pacific; he was in a combat situation only once, when the Dayton was one of dozens of ships shelling the Japanese mainland.
Ironically, Dad was responsible for the only shot to hit his ship. Assuming his duties as the officer of the day he was handed a .45 automatic, which discharged, blowing a hole in the teak deck.
While still in uniform he met and married my mother, Ardys Arlene Anderegg, a teacher from Iowa. Their civilian life together began in Fort Wayne IN, where dad worked for Farnsworth Electronics (Philo Farnsworth is credited as the inventor of television). That’s where I was born.
Shortly thereafter the couple moved to Roeland Park KS. In the 1950s and ’60s Dad worked for the Bendix Corporation. We never knew what he did, although one time he left his official I.D. at home and was sent back to get it before the guards would let him into his office.
Years later I took him to see “The Abyss”; watching the scene where Navy Seals remove nuclear warheads from a sunken submarine, Dad leaned over and whispered “They look just like that.”
Turns out he was in charge of quality control for ICBM guidance systems. Nightmares of nuclear holocaust notwithstanding, the Cold War was good to the Butler clan.
Dad was active in the American Society for Quality Control and the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, often delivering technical papers at their conferences. In retirement he and another group of engineers toured China. Even after that he kept pronouncing “Mao” like the condiment.
He also went to night school to earn an M.A. in Business from the University of Missouri.
In 1955 the family moved to Prairie Village; in 1969 Dad, my mother, my brother Dick and sister Jan moved to Fort Lauderdale FL where Dad worked for Milgo Electronics.
Mom and Dad returned to KC in 1974 when he took a job in quality control for the Allis-Chalmers plant in Independence. The job required him to crisscross the Midwest, troubleshooting issues farmers were having with their agricultural equipment. Coming from Nebraska and having married into a family of Iowa farmers, he talked their language.
After retiring he and Mom spent winters in Florida with my brother Dick. Dad helped plan reunions of the U.S.S. Dayton’s crews — at least until he was the only one left to attend.
He leaves behind three children, six grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren.
He also left the world a better place.
| Robert W. Butler
Thanks for sharing your beautiful memories. And your dad’s painting. Brightened my day.
So sorry for your loss, but what a life he lived.
So sorry for your loss, but what a life he lived.
How lovely to get to know about your father through your eyes. Your deep love and admiration for him is reflected in each word. He sounds like he was a remarkable person, and even better Dad. You are so fortunate to have had him until he was in his 90s. My Dad was also in World War II, and died in 1971. Their legacy of love lasts forever.
Beautiful, beautiful Robert–and I love the painting!
I am sorry to hear about your dad passing. That was a beautifully written tribute. I remember the month my dad died. I was more depressed than I ever expected to be. Call me and we can go out and trade stories. My best to your family and Ellen. Tom
That was a wonderful tribute. Thank you.
What a beautiful tribute, Robert. Our parents’ generation really was the greatest.
Wow. Thank you. Very much. —Herb
Robert, I absolutely love your father’s painting. It belongs on a print or a greeting card (sold at the Nelson-Atkins Art Museum shop of course). Losing a father is very hard, but I, like you, was very lucky to have a good one. Your comments about your dad speak to his wonderful qualities as a father, a husband,an engineer, a man who cared about people and put his caring into action. Thank you for sharing your love of this man. Jennifer Randle
So sorry, he sounds like a remarkable man.
Sent from my iPad
What a truly beautiful writing of such a wonderful sounding man. Heartfelt sympathies to you, Bob. Beth Coughlin (Your fellow Museum Guide)
Sent from my iPad
>
I too had a WWII Dad in the Pacific and he took his leave 14 years ago. Dads are special and someone to look uip to and learn from. I’m so glad you had special times and memories with your Dad and expressed them in describing his life. Thanks for your always special telling of the story.
A wonderful tribute. Our condolences and thanks.
Hi Bob
Sorry for your loss. I was born in Lincoln Nebraska before my family moved to Shawnee mission east district in prairie village Kansas.
Like your father I am a graduate of dear old Nebraska university.
I feel blessed to have known you as a fellow member of the film critics circle.
I still read your reviews.
Best regards and condolences
Keith Cohen
keithcohen@hotmail.com
My parents, Jim and Mary Morrison were also early residents at Aberdeen Village, and spoke highly of your dad. My parents have been gone since 2004 (dad) and 2010 (mom) and I know how much I miss them. It will be hard, but he will always be in your heart.
Bob——What a great guy! Our sincerest condolences Robert. Warm wishes……Jeanne and Herb Miller.
So sorry for your loss, Bob. Your dad sounds like a remarkable man who brought love to his family and to many others. He was fortunate to have a son who could describe him so beautifully.
Lovely tribute for a fine man. I really enjoyed learning about your dad. I’m sorry for your loss, but glad he lived the long, full life he deserved. Alarie Tennille
Sorry for your loss. What a lovely tribute to your father. He sounds like such a GOOD MAN.
Wow! Such a cool guy, although I’m probably sure he wouldn’t have used that term. We’re sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing some of your Dad with us. Mark
What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. Thank you for sharing your memories.
What a lovely tribute. It so reminds me of my father and his era. With Father’s Day coming up, it is an especially nice read.
Sincere Condolences to you and your family.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful tribute to your Dad. I am glad you had such a loving and talented father, and that you shared your appreciation of him with us.
Antonio Cutolo-Ring
Robert Great piece. What a life your Dad had. We all should be so lucky as to match the Greatest Generation, and your Dad. Bob Bretz
How fitting! A great writer reflecting about a great human being. Sounds like the person that any of us would like to be. Truly a fulfilling life for himself, family and those that knew him. Bob, your siblings and you were part of the lucky ones!! Our thoughts are with you and family.
Randall Sisk
I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re an eloquent writer and this is a lovely tribute. Thanks for your contributions. You make the world, and those of us that share a love of movies, a better place.
Tremendous life and thanks for sharing the wonderferments
Sent from my iPhone
A wonderful sweet tribute to special man who raised a special son… I smiled while reading. Our hearts and thoughts are with you and your family 👪
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your father seems like a remarkable man.
Deepest sympathy in the loss of your beloved father. He sounds like an amazing man, father and human being. Like my own father a member of the fix-it generation! Youv’e written a wonderful tribute to him here.
Thank you. A wonderful remembrance. We should all be blessed with such a father.
Sent from my iPhone
>
What a wonderful tribute to a singular man. Thank your sharing. Your Dad must have been so proud of his bright son. All the best, Erin ________________________________
Beautiful tribute to an amazing man. I love that you know how special he was and how blessed to have him as your father.
Thank you for sharing with all of us.
I enjoyed reading about your Dad’s life. Will say prayers for your family.
A movie fan who has read your reviews for years.
How fortunate to have had such a wonderful Dad to have given you so many remarkable memories. Thank you for sharing his story. Truly an inspiration just to hear your connection. His painting is full of light.
I’m sorry for your loss; he sounded like a remarkable person.
A very eloquent tribute to a remarkable human being who also happened to be a great Dad. Thanks.
What a beautiful tribute! Sorry for your & the world’s loss.
On Sat, Jun 13, 2020 at 12:19 PM Butler’s Cinema Scene wrote:
> butlerscinemascene posted: ” Most children — the lucky ones, anyway — > stand in awe of their fathers. Until I was a teenager I took it for granted > that my father, Robert W. Butler Sr., who passed away June 12 at age 98, > had the superhuman ability to fix anything. Washing mac” >
A lovely tribute. Please accept our deepest condolences.
What a lucky man you are to have had such an extraordinary and caring father. What a lucky guy to to be able to immerse yourself in such marvelous memories. Be strong and thank you for sharing him with us.
John
>
I’m so sorry to hear of your dad’s passing!! He really was a great man!!
I sent him a card on his last birthday and I even got a letter back from him Thanking me for the greeting!
Mom always told me about the wonderful times the 5 sisters had together Kansas City’s Christmas shopping
And how your dad would Pamper them with drinks and great meals !
You
And your brother and sister can be so proud of the Great father you had!! Im sure he had a great welcoming from family at the gates of Heaven! With much love and deepest sympathy!
Cousin Judy
Bob, What a beautiful tribute–and I love your dad’s painting! Thanks for sharing.
Dear Robert ~~Such a beautiful tribute to your dad. A truly remarkable guy. Thanks for sharing him with us! We are thinking of you and Ellen in these coming days. Ron and MK
THOUGH I NEVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF MEETING YOUR DAD, THROUGH YOUR WONDERFUL TRIBUTE I FEEL THAT I KNOW HIM VERY WELL. YOU HAVE PAINTED A WORD PICTURE OF A MAN WHO SPENT HIS TIME ON THIS PLANET WISELY. A MAN WHO SERVED HIS FAMILY, HIS NEIGHBORS, HIS COMMUNITY, HIS COUNTRY AND HIS MAKER WITH TOTAL COMMITMENT AND JOY. YOU FAMILY MEMBERS HAVE BEEN LEFT WITH A TREASURE TROVE OF GREAT MEMORIES TO ENJOY, TO SHARE AND TO PASS ON TO FUTURE OFFSPRING.
Charlie Paynter and I send our condolences to you and your family. What a lovely tribute to your dad. He sounds like a fabulous man and father. Thanks for sharing.
Bob,
I think we meet a hundred years ago when I used to do book reviews in Thorpe Menn’s day and used to visit ‘culture gulch’ on the second floor – Al Bohling, Harry Jones and others were friends.
I have been enormously grateful for your reviews over the years- helping make sure I saw the best and avoided the clunkers. Carrying on a reader’s dialog with you and often together with friends who shared tastes has been a ritual of movie going. I have been especially grateful that you have continued to share your critical appreciation of the human situation captured on films beyond the Star tenure.
Your tender recounting of your father’s life was like being allowed to share in the wonder and mystery of our own lives, grounded in the lives of parents, relatives and close friends. No need for condolences. You understand and communicate the wonder and the mystery.
This just to let you know there are folks like me you never meet whose lives have been impacted positively by your steadfast devotion to tracking the best and the clunkers in an important area of our lives.
Cordially, Larry Guillot
On Sat, Jun 13, 2020 at 12:19 PM Butler’s Cinema Scene wrote:
> butlerscinemascene posted: ” Most children — the lucky ones, anyway — > stand in awe of their fathers. Until I was a teenager I took it for granted > that my father, Robert W. Butler Sr., who passed away June 12 at age 98, > had the superhuman ability to fix anything. Washing mac” >
Those are some very kind words. Not sure I’m worthy. But I recall decades ago in a job interview, I was asked about my goals. I said I hoped to be useful.
Well, sounds like in your case, at least, it all worked out.
Thank you for sharing this tribute to your Dad.
Dear Mr. Butler
Please ,accept my deepest condolences on loss of your father.
Through your tribute I learned- Bob Butler was not an ordinary man.
Since I was not born in this country , I always had an image of
a “Real American!”.
The description of your father’s life and character were precisely “matching “
with my mental image.
You are such a lucky man ,having your father to be your model of a man and citizen.!
Throughout the years my husband and I are following your movie reviews.
We found them to be very interesting and usually read both.: before and after seeing them.
Thank you so much for helping us better understand movies.
Sincerely, Rosalie Pompushko.
Bob, what a beautiful eulogy. Your Dad was obviously one of the best humans who ever lived. My deepest heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your entire family.
Steve Carlson, former Star employee and keyboard player for the Paperuts.
I am so very sorry for your tremendous loss. What a beautiful tribute to a truly exceptional human being. Thank you for sharing it.
Such a lovely tribute.
Your remembrance was beautiful.
I’m sorry for your loss; he sounds like a wonderful person!
What a wonderful tribute! I will make copies and hand them out at Aberdeen Village. Your father lived life to the full and it was an honor to know him. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
What a truly good man-thank you for sharing his life with us.
Thank you for that beautiful tribute. My deepest sympathy.
Ouch.
I am a bit late to the reading of your tribute to your father … I am so grateful for your words – and you inspire to write about my own father and mother. Thank you Bob!