Butler's Cinema Scene

Charlize Theron

“THE OLD GUARD” My rating: C+ (Netflix)

118 minutes | MPAA rating: R

Netflix’s “The Old Guard” is almost instantly forgettable…but no movie that gives us Charlize Theron in kick-ass mode can be easily dismissed.

Adapted by directed by Greg Rucka from his graphic novel and competently directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, “…Guard” stars Theron as Andy, a formidable warrior woman who runs a four-man team of freelance commandos (Marwan Kenzari, Matthias Schoenaerts,  Luca Marinelli).

When we first meet them they are “hired” by a former CIA guy (Chiwetel Ejiofor) to travel to Sudan to rescue schoolgirls kidnapped by a predatory militia. Andy and team show up armed to the teeth not only with modern automatic weapons but also with much Medieval cutlery.  No bulletproof vests…but then it turns out they don’t need them.

Because the members of this crew are immortal.  Andy is the oldest, having lived for at least 3,000 years.  The others were picked up over the centuries; apparently each is a genetic/metaphysical freak who for unknown reasons suddenly was endowed with rapid healing and near-instant resurrection.

Betrayed on their mission and left for dead (death doesn’t last long in this instance), the crew clean up the mercenaries who laid the trap (the kidnapped schoolgirls scenario was merely a ruse) and lick their rapidly healing wounds.

Andy, who has devoted her never-ending life to righting wrongs and getting rid of bad guys, has reached the point where she wonders if she’s doing any good any more. “The world isn’t getting any better,” she laments. “It’s getting worse.”

Then all four dream simultaneously about a U.S. Marine, Nile (Kiki Layne), who suffers a seemingly deadly wound in Afghanistan yet recovers within hours. Clearly, she is meant to be the next member of the team, although she greets that news with mixed emotions.  Yeah, living forever and healing instantly is pretty cool; on the other hand, remaining the same age while loved ones wither away is just plain demoralizing.

Marwan Kenzari, Matthias Schoenaerts, Charlize Theron, Luca Marinelli, Kiki Layne 

Anyway, the bulk of the film centers on the efforts of a big pharma exec (Harry Melling) to snatch the team’s members so that they can be used as human guinea pigs in his lab.  No doubt the information in their bodies can save millions of lives…and make millions of dollars.

“The Old Guard” hasn’t much of a sense of humor.  The best bit comes when an amazed Nile asks “Who are you?” and gets the response: “Andromede the Scythian…but you can call me Andy.”

The main reason to sit through the film is Theron, whose dominating physical presence and world-weariness are reminiscent of her turn in “Mad Max: Fury Road.” And then there’s the mayhem, which makes up for its familiarity with an exceedingly high body count.

Along the way the enterprise offers a deft bit of action-film topicality by making two of the immortals a gay couple.  They’re like a fundamentalist’s nightmare.

| Robert W. Butler